I was 22 years old when Cherie was born on a hot, windy Cape Town summers day. My folks had been waiting around for over two weeks for this little first grandchild to arrive and was very relieved when she at last arrived - 5 days after her due date! Sore, stiff but extremely happy we arrived at our upstairs, two bedroom flat, in the corner of a security complex. The folks had prepared the room for the little princess and the house was filled with food for an army. Everything was new, unfamiliar, but exciting and very thrilling! Little did I know the full impact a little child will make on my life.
You see, today I have realized that one cannot possibly understand the changes that you life would have to undergo at the age of 22! Let's just face it, at that age, you headstrong, full of ideas, full of plans, full of little ambitions to conquer this life that just recently opened up to you - the school desk is still faintly in your memory.In short, the word is self-centered.
So when Cherie contracted pneumonia at 6 weeks, after taking a trip to the beach on a hot, windless day, I got a serious wake up call! This little one is here and she is here to stay.
Part of the baby blues I experienced was the incredible feeling of having to sit out on normal social conversation. I had decided to breastfeed her, no matter what the challenge. So you learn that you have to give up being part of a normal conversation because you are always in a room somewhere feeding, burping or changing a nappy. It was only later that I felt confident enough to breastfeed, discreetly in company. And then the sleep training started. You seem to miss at least half of the dvd you have tried watching the past two hours, because you have decided to train her to sleep in the room by 8 pm. This didn't last very long!
And so you struggle along until this little person starts to mould your will, bend your stubbornness and teach you that all "they" say is right, does not mean it is.
Hear me out: I am not saying that the tested, proved methods of rearing children are to be ignored!! I am just saying that part of the problem is that you are self-centered that even the way you start this journey is to make you feel comfortable, better, a good parent, perfect etc. ect. Instead of tuning into this little one and her needs, then taking well-deserved tips from a trusted, experienced mother, and working your way out in peace.
So now, she is turning 12 years old, and she and her brother seem to have survived me. By the grace of God I tell you!! And since there is new "little one" in the house, things have turned the other way again! But boy, my life is much easier!
Yes, wisdom is revealed in hind sight. But I write this to encourage all first time mothers, especially, YOUNG first time mothers: set aside your whims, fancies, ideas, plans. Enjoy this little one who is about to change you forever. You will change, I promise you, but you can either enjoy the ride or go through it kicking and screaming! Lay down your time, your indulgences. Take time for yourself, by all means, but realize that if you stop resisting the inner change, you will have more energy, more patience, more love, more time. And as my dear mother used to say to me: "this too shall pass!"
You see, today I have realized that one cannot possibly understand the changes that you life would have to undergo at the age of 22! Let's just face it, at that age, you headstrong, full of ideas, full of plans, full of little ambitions to conquer this life that just recently opened up to you - the school desk is still faintly in your memory.In short, the word is self-centered.
So when Cherie contracted pneumonia at 6 weeks, after taking a trip to the beach on a hot, windless day, I got a serious wake up call! This little one is here and she is here to stay.
Part of the baby blues I experienced was the incredible feeling of having to sit out on normal social conversation. I had decided to breastfeed her, no matter what the challenge. So you learn that you have to give up being part of a normal conversation because you are always in a room somewhere feeding, burping or changing a nappy. It was only later that I felt confident enough to breastfeed, discreetly in company. And then the sleep training started. You seem to miss at least half of the dvd you have tried watching the past two hours, because you have decided to train her to sleep in the room by 8 pm. This didn't last very long!
And so you struggle along until this little person starts to mould your will, bend your stubbornness and teach you that all "they" say is right, does not mean it is.
Hear me out: I am not saying that the tested, proved methods of rearing children are to be ignored!! I am just saying that part of the problem is that you are self-centered that even the way you start this journey is to make you feel comfortable, better, a good parent, perfect etc. ect. Instead of tuning into this little one and her needs, then taking well-deserved tips from a trusted, experienced mother, and working your way out in peace.
So now, she is turning 12 years old, and she and her brother seem to have survived me. By the grace of God I tell you!! And since there is new "little one" in the house, things have turned the other way again! But boy, my life is much easier!
Yes, wisdom is revealed in hind sight. But I write this to encourage all first time mothers, especially, YOUNG first time mothers: set aside your whims, fancies, ideas, plans. Enjoy this little one who is about to change you forever. You will change, I promise you, but you can either enjoy the ride or go through it kicking and screaming! Lay down your time, your indulgences. Take time for yourself, by all means, but realize that if you stop resisting the inner change, you will have more energy, more patience, more love, more time. And as my dear mother used to say to me: "this too shall pass!"
Yes, and pass quickly too! Far too quickly! My years with Harry at home were so precious! He taught me so much about myself and about the important things in life! A tidy house is not the be all and end all, for one thing! Priorities! Enjoy every minute you new mums!
ReplyDeleteThank you Chantal. This is such a blessing. Our children may be entering their teens now, but, Im still learning from what God reveals to you.
ReplyDeleteBless you
thank you Chantal, just what i needed to read. only 3 years, nearly 4, later it is actually sinking in that time with little one is important.
ReplyDelete