Teenage blues

Well, I never thought it would come, but yes! The teens have hit the family! I have never felt so helpless like the last week or so. The sudden irritations, the quiet smile, the tears out of nowhere, and for no apparent reason. So I reevaluate every situation about 10 times before I speak and I pray more often to cope with the feelings and emotions that the 12 year old body is overwhelmed with.
A very good book to read is "Preparing for the adolescent years" by James Dobson. It is written for the pre-teen growing into a teen and it is very encouraging. I read it before I gave it to her. And when I did give it, I could tell it perhaps was a little too early. But now we can openly refer to it and then discuss issues more easily.

I then one day, I took her shopping. Only thing is the almost 2 year old had to go with....not a very good idea! So while I waited 20 minutes at a time ( it felt like an hour) between fittings, I had to chase little madam between the displays, the shoe shelves and the lingerie stands. Everything was explored: the luminous platform shoes, the blue bowed beach sandals, the black gladiator sandals...and there is no point in fuming, huffing, stressing or performing. You have released the lion in a department store. There are just no limits to possibilities in this almost 2 year old  mind. And after 20 grueling minutes, the teen appears saying, "Oh mum I took the wrong size, can you fetch another one for me?" And the whole process starts again.

Today the situation was swapped. I made her come with me to an animal conservation. "for your sister's sake".I offered her the camera to take pictures, but she discarded it on the back seat. The outing started with a reptile show. At first she dodged the situation, but as the reptile man brought out the little creepy crawlies one by one and the slithering snakes, yes, even a spider, the young teen's face started to change and the girl I know came out of hiding and experienced the intrigue of God's creatures first hand. By the time we came to the giraffe, she ran all the way back to the car, and fetched the camera. This majestic animal so caught her attention, that she kicked off her pumps and broke into a ballet routine. It looked like the giraffe was her ballet instructor, looking on and approving of her routine. The picture stirred my heart and I knew that she will be alright.

So we left there content, happy. " I can't believe I touched a spider, mommy!" Yes, girl. You were awesome!

Raising young children, being young yourself

I was 22 years old when Cherie was born on a hot, windy Cape Town summers day. My folks had been waiting around for over two weeks for this little first grandchild to arrive and was very relieved when she at last arrived - 5 days after her due date! Sore, stiff but extremely happy we arrived at our upstairs, two bedroom flat, in the corner of a security complex. The folks had prepared the room for the little princess and the house was filled with food for an army. Everything was new, unfamiliar, but exciting and very thrilling! Little did I know the full impact a little child will make on my life.
You see, today I have realized that one cannot possibly understand the changes that you life would have to undergo at the age of 22! Let's just face it, at that age, you headstrong, full of ideas, full of plans, full of little ambitions to conquer this life that just recently opened up to you - the school desk is still faintly in your memory.In short, the word is self-centered.
So when Cherie contracted pneumonia at 6 weeks, after taking a trip to the beach on a hot, windless day, I got a serious wake up call! This little one is here and she is here to stay.
Part of the baby blues I experienced was the incredible feeling of having to sit out on normal social conversation. I had decided to breastfeed her, no matter what the challenge. So you learn that you have to give up being part of a normal conversation because you are always in a room somewhere feeding, burping or changing a nappy. It was only later that I felt confident enough to breastfeed, discreetly in company. And then the sleep training started. You seem to miss at least half of the dvd you have tried watching the past two hours, because you have decided to train her to sleep in the room by 8 pm. This didn't last very long!
And so you struggle along until this little person starts to mould your will, bend your stubbornness and teach you that all "they" say is right, does not mean it is.
Hear me out: I am not saying that the tested, proved methods of rearing children are to be ignored!! I am just saying that part of the problem is that you are self-centered that even the way you start this journey is to make you feel comfortable, better, a good parent, perfect etc. ect. Instead of tuning into this little one and her needs, then taking well-deserved tips from a trusted, experienced mother, and working your way out in peace.
So now, she is turning 12 years old, and she and her brother seem to have survived me. By the grace of God I tell you!! And since there is new "little one" in the house, things have turned the other way again! But boy, my life is much easier!
Yes, wisdom is revealed in hind sight. But I write this to encourage all first time mothers, especially, YOUNG first time mothers: set aside your whims, fancies, ideas, plans. Enjoy this little one who is about to change you forever. You will change, I promise you, but you can either enjoy the ride or go through it kicking and screaming! Lay down your time, your indulgences. Take time for yourself, by all means, but realize that if you stop resisting the inner change, you will have more energy, more patience, more love, more time. And as my dear mother used to say to me: "this too shall pass!"

And then there was...

So how do you know when someone is a local when you are watching people on the beach one late afternoon? A local will not have a hairstyle that the wind can blow to pieces. A local will not be wearing fancy shoes on the beach. A local might have a dog or two, but not necessarily a leash. A local will not keep brushing the sand of his feet, or hair, or clothes! A local will not mind getting wet in the ice cold Atlantic water. A local who surfs will be wearing a wet suite, booties and even a hoody if necessary when trying out waves. A local will change with a towel around his her waist.A local will be walking a far stretch of beach before stopping to pant. A local will allow their kids in the water with their clothes on. A local will not stare at your kids getting wet in the sea water.

I was an alien once in Cape Town. Trust me, I am a local now!

Discipling my kids

The concept is not new, I know. But as of late I have been meditating on this and seeking the Lord for His wisdom concerning this. Why would any parent need to give their attention to it? Well, it can be motivated through a few scriptures.
If you read the book of Proverbs, you will see it is directed to young people in general. The instruction of your mother and father is regarded as precious and decorative to your spirit man. It is offers life, health, riches, all the things we want for our children. But then we as parents have the responsibility to offer this and not our own opinions, views, gripes, self imposed yokes. And it is possible! Yes, with the help from the Ultimate Teacher we have so much to give! With the riches in the Body of Christ there is so much to offer.
Please be not mistaken: we all have our faults, our imbalances, our blind spots. That is why we need a "multitude of counselors". In that we have safety.
What do I disciple my children in? Well, what have you to show for? You have talents, abilities, things that come easy to you. Expose them to that first. See if there is an interest. You might be surprised to see when the light in your child's eyes turns on. Spending time with your child is precious, valuable, life-changing and a God-given privilege. You are getting to know a person unlike yourself but similar in many ways. You have this once in a lifetime opportunity to make a lifelong friend. But remember, they first must become your disciple before they can become your friend.

So bear with me as I try to share some moments, inspiring you to take the time to train your child in the way he or she should go, so that when he or she is older they will not depart from it.

The essence of life

So we gather together as Holy Women at Retreat just outside Franschoek on a cold winter's evening and get inspired by Spirit-filled worship. The place was already packed with expectant hearts and I heard the Lord say so clearly: these were hand-picked to be here. We are challenged to mix with people we don't know and get to know the riches in the saints. You won't find that out if you only stick to the people you like...

The essence of life: the pure, undefiled, "organic" kind of life, a life far removed from the "processed" ways of the world. A God kind of life. This kind of life is what He wants us to partake of. A life free from self-preservation, self-will, fear and inhibitions. He is the author of of our faith. He only responds to our faith and therefore we need to only act with what He shows us, in faith.

God wants us to dream. Because we have a sanctified imagination. And therefore He works with our desires to will His will in the end. So we are never forced to do anything. Rather, we are so overcome by His grace and a sense of never ending possibilities that whatever he puts in our hearts, we simply respond to it. So we were encourage to dream. Write it down! Pray. Don't limit Him. Dream big!

We were encourage to become generous listeners, so we can be generous performers of His will. To do, act upon His will. He has the obligation to hear us and respond when we pray His will, but in the same way we have the same obligation to respond to Him when He commands.

Then there was a word of prophecy sung: "God has put joy in your heart to enjoy this life with pleasure and happiness. He made His creation to enjoy in this life. Live out His joy!"
We prayed for probably 10 ladies who felt they are not enjoying life. Spirit of fear was rebuked and bound and people were set free. Thank You Jesus!

We thank The Lord for our leaders and teachers of the Word who were obedient to His calling: Prophet Nola Pelser, Yvette Pelser.

Happy Birthday, My Man

This goes out to a man who spotted me in my slightly out of place outfit as I made my way down to the College Auditorium. The one who showed me around the building speaking the best Afrikaans he could muster. The one who eyed me at band practise for 6 months and then came to me with a proposal!

We have had 14 years of laughs, giggles, tears, frustration and reliefs! But the truth is still the same: I would it the same all over again!

Aje, my love! Thank you for your honesty and your tender love towards us and the kids! Thank for your courageous, bold work ethic, inspiring young ones to go higher, further, longer!
My prayer would be that He fulfills more of your dreams and also reveal Himself deeper inside of you, for the betterment of yourself but also for the rest of us.

"Leader of men, you have lead and you have stood for the truth and you have been faithful in least and in much! Today is a celebration of My Life in you, as the enemy have tried to steal it before. I have sifted you but have found weightiness in you, You have proved to be trustworthy and I entrust more of Myself in you: glory, riches and wealth! Things will go much faster from now on and you will see my glory accelerate the inner dynamo in your spirit!"

Thank you Jesus

We love you babes!

The point of no return

Have you ever embarked on a journey and once it started there is fresh realization that there is no way to return to the beginning? Like having kids! Yes, once it is done, it is done. You are from now on a factory of all sorts! In the beginning a milk factory, then a food factory, then a factory of entertainment, then a factory of eduaction.....this is where I am at presently and if anybody tells you it is a walk in the park, they are lying through their teeth!
But there is this constant reminder of rewards. The rewards don't come cheap but they are free of charge! If you know what I mean: When you suddenly realize that the little ballerina girl is turning into a young woman with her task firmly in tact. She knows what she wants and with your guidance (and by the grace of God) she will accomplish that which is set before her!
But I can hear my wise mother say, "this too shall pass". So when I change the young ones nappy of the upteenth time and find out that her whole outfit is wet, again, you keep smiling somehow and whisper to yourself through gritted teeth: "this too shall pass"!

Travelling with Kids

Has anyone dared to travel with kids? Well I have and I must say it is not for the faint-hearted, or for the control freaks, or parents with a huge self image or parents who are insecure and very self-conscience!

You see, kids have this effect on your ego: when you picture something: how it will work, how it will feel and how they will feel, it sometimes is quite the opposite! One forgets you are launching brand new individuals into the unknown, who have their own look on life, how it feels, what is funny, what is creepy etc.

So I did a 3 and a half week stunt with 3 kids ages 11, 9 and 18 months. We had our ups and downs, but I learned so much, and they are richer for it! My eldest has fallen in love with Paris. My second with Dubai and my youngest enjoyed everything there were for an 18 month to enjoy: too much Coke, chocolate croissants for breakfast, running barefoot through the Louvre museum, hiding in the castle gardens, sitting the 5 star hotel beday playing with the taps....the list just gets more ridiculous! But then, this trip is not the only one we are part of. I decided long ago to enjoy the journey with my kids from the day they lifted their little voices greeting me in the delivery room. Life is transitory. And having the memories of the struggles, the aches, the pains and then of course the fun parts as well, is truly abundant life. Thank You Lord, for an awesome time together!